Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section

Blame Climate Change

6 Jan

There was a lovely news special this morning.  Reporters ran to grill children about how much they liked the snow, adults were interrogated about the whereabouts of their abandoned cars,  snow puns were made with unrelenting frequency, while helicopters filmed the picture postcard scenes in British villages. You know, the important stuff. Continue reading


Video Of The Year

29 Dec

This was really something special – probably my favourite thing all year.

Cinnamon Chasers – Luv Delux

Whatever happened to the strike partnership?

24 Dec

Watching Sky Sports News today, there was a piece mentioning the Shearer – Sutton partnership (SAS) and their 49 goal season. I realised that in today’s game there is not even one top level strike partnership. I remember Champions League nights where Raul – Morientes and Del Piero – Inzaghi ran riot. In the Premiership Cole – Yorke and Henry – Bergkamp spring to mind. Sheringham and Klinsmann were decent for Spurs, even the likes of Kevin Phillips and Niall Quinn at Sunderland got around 40 in a season. At the World Cup the main attraction, once England were dispatched, was watching great Brazilian duos like  Romario – Bebeto and Ronaldo – Rivaldo destroy everyone. So what happened?

Continue reading

My Larry David Moment

22 Dec

So I’ve been busy with interviews and getting told that I need to “adopt a more strategic view” but I finally found a little respite a few days back on my mum’s birthday. My mum loves this cream cake you get at a certain bakery in Thornton Heath so I said I’d get her one. Unfortunately the roads were completely iced out. So there’s me in worn out plimsolls literally gliding falling over with every step much to the amusement of the kids running around me throwing iceballs.

I got to the cake store after about 30mins of what was basically skiing but then realized I had to get cash out. I joined a surprisingly large queue with people who kept leaving the machine looking bemused. I thought something was up but continued to listen Dusty Kid.  Anyway no one said anything and the queue crawled forwards. The guy in front of me had his go – he was done really quickly and had that same bemused look – My turn.

Turns out there wasn’t any cash in the machine. Couldn’t ANYONE have said this earlier rather than just looking surprised? Anyway I turned round and told the rest of the queue about this. So I started walking to the next cash machine – but the people who were behind me in the queue, and who I had kindly informed about the lack of cash, accelerated off to be in front of me in the next one!

So I’m not a happy bunny, but I didn’t say anything for once. Anyway after a long wait I eventually got my cash out and headed to the cake shop. If you’ve ever watched Curb Your Enthusiasm you know what is coming next. For people who haven’t watched it – seriously watch it. Once I got to the cake shop I noticed the woman who was directly behind me in the first cash point queue was now buying a cake. I didn’t have to turn to the fridge to see there was nothing left in there. Last cake gone, taken by woman who I had helped.  She even turned round and saw me and gave me a smile. The evil, scheming

So anyway after walking for 30minutes in the snow, waiting in line for a broken cash machine and getting overtaken by people I had helped, I was going to return cakeless? I don’t think so.

“Excuse me, I’m not being funny but this is a joke – I let you know about the cash machine, you run off and now you’re buying the last cake?”

She looked utterly bemused – reminded me of the people in the cash point queue earlier.

Ignoring her expression I continued, “I need this cake it’s my mum’s birthday what are you buying it for?”

“It’s my sister’s birthday and I don’t understand your problem..” she still looked fairly stunned.

“Well it’s my mum’s favourite cake and I promised it to her and I let you know about the cash machine – if it wasn’t for me you would never be here!”

I then looked over at the guy behind the counter. He was Turkish and I look vaguely like I could be from that area so for some reason I thought he might side with me. “Excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that this woman who pushed in front of me after I had kindly told her the cash machine was broken, is now buying the cake that I promised my mum for her birthday and I know there’s nothing you can do about it, but I just think it is a shame that when you do something nice these days you don’t get rewarded for it and..”

“My young friend,” He interrupted, “calm down, I have about ten more cakes in the back.”

Ok so most people would feel pretty stupid at this point and I was no exception. I got my cake and so did the pusher inner who suffered no consequences whatsoever. I ended up looking like a psycho and I probably should learn to be more patient from this experience. But I know full well that I learned nothing except that next time I try to help, I should adopt a more strategic view.

Its Friday and I want a Pizza

27 Nov

Better get on the old iPhone then.

Continue reading

Am I on a bandwagon?

27 Nov

I thought most people had accepted climate change as a fact. Turns out we really have not. So its great that recently there has been a massive surge in green messages in advertising. Even for products you wouldn’t necessarily associate with being environmental.

The new massive Guinness “Bring it to Life” campaign is a great example. Continue reading

The internet knows me

17 Nov

I went on the Surrealist and typed in my name to their advertising slogan generator…

This is literally the first result that came up.

That is just too scary.