A moment of clarity

25 Oct

I was walking through London today and suddenly it hit me. The people are rude.  Nobody smiles. Nobody cares. Everyone is heading somewhere as if their life depends on it.  If you haven’t got a pressing engagement, you better act like you do  or else you get barged.  Worse still you might get the look. You know the one which tourists/northerners get. The one that you give people who stand on the left of an escalator…

The thing I’ve lived in London for 22 years (ish) and  I never noticed any of this before.  Maybe it was the medication I’m on the fact I’ve been away a while.  I have never felt so out of place in my life! When people come to London they always complain about the people, but to me the people are great. I guess it’s because I think of friends and family as the “people” and they’re all pretty sound.

London is amazing. I just wish it wasn’t so serious. I know real life is meant to be serious and grown up and proper, but wouldn’t it be great to get on a tube and start a conversation with someone without thinking you look like a twat? I know that most people in London have to be interesting, everyone looks interesting anyway. Maybe someone should start some sort of campaign to get Londoners to open up and start talking…

It wouldn’t be hard. Everyone must have something to say because everyone is listening/reading/looking at something. Sometimes all at the same time. It just needs an icebreaker. I can see the difficulty there because the tube is a grey place free of weather based conversation starters.

People could loosen up a tad though. Have you ever got a train at night after people have had a few? Totally different! Everyone is chatting and  joking around with strangers . OK there are some fights, but people talk!

But I guess everyone is just hiding from the awkwardness. Scared of making eye contact. Afraid to even ask “excuse me” preferring to just barge through. Worst of all today someone left their scarf on the tube. She walked off and no-one said anything.  I had to walk over from where I was standing, pick up the scarf, run out of the train and shout “EXCUSE ME YOU LEFT YOUR SCARF.” Obviously everyone looked at me like I was crazy. Help another person AND utter words on a tube to a stranger?

What a madman.

P.S guess everyone’s seen the Michael McIntyre bit about the London Underground, queuing and such.

Here’s the reality, a bit last week but still relevant

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